It's just as well that I haven't been in much of a sleeping mood lately, since today is the deadline to
get the graphics in for another full-page ad in
Independent Film Quarterly
(on page 1 again, as well; not too shabby).
...which is what I really should be finishing up right now, but first I think I'll subject you to a few
amazing products that I've run into so far this month which really deserve a special mention.
universal remote control gets the top honors. This universal keychain remote features only one button
("off"), but they claim it works with all TVs. There are a few department stores I can think of which would
be particularly well-suited for testing this device. (Even when I've been in the mood to buy a product, I've
sometimes been chased away to another store by the prospect of looking for it while surrounded by dozens
of TVs, all playing various movies and TV channels with the volume much higher than necessary.
could come out with a "kinder, gentler" version that features a universal "mute" button which worked on TVs,
stereos, and annoying salespeople who ask if you need help every twenty-two seconds until they've bothered
you enough that you'll leave without buying anything.
I think the world is divided up into TV-people (who have to have the TV set on all the time) and
non-TV-people (who find this practice to be maddening). I'm one of the latter and I'm not sure either
side can really appreciate or understand the other.
There was a time when I'd had surgery to reassemble my leg and wound up sharing a room for a while
with a basketball player who had jumped up to make a basket and broke his leg on landing. Ooops. At
least he made the basket; missing it that time would have hurt even more, I'm sure.
He had a bunch of family members come spend quite some time with him. They'd show up near the start
of visiting hours, sit on the bed, and the first thing they'd say after "hello" was, "would you like the TV
on?" He'd say, "no" and they'd sit on the bed for a few minutes longer before someone else would ask,
"are you sure you don't want the TV on?" He'd say, "I'm sure." After a few more minutes, someone else
would ask, "can I turn the TV on for you?" and he'd reply, "no." There'd be a pause, and finally one of them
would get up and turn on the TV and they'd all sit there on the bed with him, watching TV and ignoring
Eventually, visiting hours would be over, they'd leave, and we could turn of the TV. At least we could get
a TV-free night after that before the next day when they'd show up again and the whole ritual would
repeat. Unfortunately, even a TV-B-Gone remote wouldn't have saved us back then because I bet his
family would have wrestled it away from him and stomped on it after the first time he tried to use it.
Even if he seemed a lot more athletic than the rest of his family, the whole broken-leg-thing probably
would have slowed him down a lot, and they did outnumber him.
The next fabulous product is the incredible
Intelligent LED-illuminated toilet seat from KiSS Textil. According to the manufacturer:
The transparent toilet seat GALACTIKA is equipped with tiny ultra bright Chip-LED
in 5 cols.: pole-white, sundance-yellow, scarlet-red, amparo-blue and emerald-green.
The energy is supplied by 4 pcs. AA 1,5V batteries, that you find in an
inconspicuous batterycase taped with a velcro at the backside of the closet or
at the wall under the cistern. The real clou of the luminous toilet seat is the very tricky
elektronic processor. When opening the cover the LED light will be dimmed on slowly
and kindle their full power after 5 seconds. When closing the cover the LED light
will be dimmed off gently. If you leave the cover open the integrated processor
interrupts the powersupply after half an hour. One battery filling is good
enough for one month run (depending on frequency (c:).
Haven't you always wanted to find a tricky elektronic processor in your toilet? I know I haven't.
But I think KiSS is really onto something (no, not *on* something) here. This kind of lighting is very
popular these days in modded computer cases and liquid cooling is really catching
on--the two main workstations in my own office, for example, use this approach. Without doing
the actual calculations, my guess is that even an average toilet can move enough water to cool Intel's
new dual-core CPUs. A more environmentally-friendly low-flow toilet would probably still be sufficient for most
of their current Prescott-core P4 CPUs.
So, by combining the functions of a toilet and a computer case, you get the best of both worlds. Well, sort
of, anyway. But that's only the beginning; think of all the advantages for the truly hard-core gamer: no longer
would you have to step away from your computer to answer the call of nature. Add some type of food source,
and all your gaming needs would be covered!
Who knows? Maybe the light-up modded computer potty will be available in time for Christmas.
...by the way, when visiting KiSS's website, don't forget that they have actual streamable (so to speak)
movies of their toilets in action!
But speaking of using technology to enhance one's bodily functions, Healthquest Technologies, Inc.,
has produced (and patented)
the interactive urinal communicator:
Discover Wizmark, the interactive urinal communicator, its advertising you can't help but look at.
An idea so original, it has everyone talking. Wizmark is based on one unwritten rule of men's room
etiquette; when using a urinal, never stare at the person next to you. Every male knows that when
he is using a urinal, he can look anyway he wants, except left or right. Realizing this unwritten code,
the appeal of this marketing concept to you as an advertiser is that it effectively assures your ad
will attract the attention of, and be read by, the ever elusive targeted male audience you are constantly
aiming for. Wizmark's interactive capabilities will get results, providing the perfect guerilla marketing medium for men of all ages.
As a one-of-a-kind, fully functional interactive device, Wizmark can talk, sing, or flash a string of lights
around a promotional message when greeting a "visitor". The large anti-glare, water-proof viewing
screen is strategically located just above the drain to ensure guaranteed viewing without interruptions.
Using the elements of surprise and humor in a truly unique location will allow Wizmark, in combination
with your ad, to make a lasting impression on every male that sees it.
If you've got a product that deserves this kind of attention, this might just be the advertising solution
for you. Let me know how it goes.
But for now, I should get back to my own, more conventional, advertising projects. A full-page ad in
Independent Film Quarterly might not be nearly as high-tech as having interactive singing urinal cakes
complete with flashing lights, but at least it's a start.