from the Silly Ego Tricks file:
Okay, this is probably the sort of thing that nobody else would care about, but
a few weeks ago, I put a small collection of my personal pics up on Webshots.
[ http://community.webshots.com/user/trygvelode ]
... candid photos
of their off-road vehicles proudly getting stuck in the mud
... and over one million close-ups of pet noses ...
|
In case you're not familiar with Webshots, it's the most extensive and conveniently
organized collection of high-resolution pictures I've found on the net,
all categorized, searchable, and immediately available for your viewing and
downloading pleasure, blissfully unencumbered by any apparent respect for or
awareness of copyright law.
To be fair, there's a lot of stuff on this particular refrigerator-door-on-the-web that
is placed there by the copyright holders: people's vacation pictures, candid photos
of their off-road vehicles proudly getting stuck in the mud, my pictures, and,
of course, over one million close-ups of pet noses or whichever other body parts
were still in the frame by the time the point-and-shoot actually did shoot.
But most of what's actually on there are pictures people have scanned in of their
favorite swimsuit models, movie posters, and whatever else they thought was cool.
No matter what the management says, I still find it hard to believe that over one
thousand AOL users each own the copyrights to Britney Spears album cover--or, if they
do, why they don't just put up the original artwork rather than rely on the output
of a cheap flatbed scanner?
So, there I am, virtually surrounded by "asian bikini babes," Jennifer Lopez,
Miss Universe 2000, and others of similar fame and measurements--and my ego-boost
came when I found myself in the top 40 in the "Swimsuits and Models" category;
bear in mind that there are 80,908 other photos in this category as of this writing,
so as far as I'm concerned, just being in the top 40 at all is pretty good.
So, a few days or a week pass, and I'm still chuffed about it. Webshots is a pretty
popular site: according to one list of sites-ranked-by-traffic-volume, it was the
fifty-seventh highest on the web. That's more traffic than even my "what's new"
page gets.
At that point, a friend pointed out that I was the only male to make the
top 40; so, now I'm even more pleased about it. On the "celebrities" ranking, I
didn't quite make the top 40, so how about we skip over that and
just go back to talking about "swimsuits and models."
Today, tragedy struck.
Fortunately, it was one of the smallest tragedies
ever recorded in historical times, but tragedy it was ... or something else
starting with "t" and I'm too lazy to wrestle a better word out of Roget's at
the moment.
Yes, there's another male contender who has appeared in 40th place--this could
potentially divert the attentions of Webshots users who actually
are interested in "swimsuits and models" of the non-"bikini-and-high-heels"
flavor.
One--or, horrors, even both--of these viewers could decide to go to
this upstart's page instead.
I decided, as a cautionary measure, that it was necessary to broaden my
audience appeal.
High heels, however, were right out, and I definitely had
reservations about adding bikinis to my repertoire.
What to do...?
Now, people do have pretty varied tastes. For starters,
I'm a pretty low-hairiness-quotient guy myself, but I know some people are really
into "bears"--I figured that one way to attract the Webshots viewer
who is into the fuzzy/bear look was to rework my photo gallery a bit and
add some representatives of that visual form. So, aficionadas of the "bear" look
can now check out my new Webshots album,
[ Movie Villains and Cuddly Plush Animals ]
... Fortunately, it was one of the smallest tragedies
ever recorded in historical times ...
|
If, on the other hand, you still have your heart set on bikinis and high heels, I
can't help you, but there is still hope--rumor has it that bikini-and-heels
photos are out there to be found, just not of me (for which the world, I'm sure, is
eternally grateful)