Trygve.Com > Humor > Microsloshed Walls 3.0
Microsloshed Corporation of Smoke'em, Washington introduces the
most fantabulous operating system overlay ever, a high-performance GUI
(Generally Useless Interface) that will transform your measly old
command-line driven PC into a state-of-the-art multitasking system!
Microsloshed Walls frees you from the worries of incompatible
hardware--in fact, if any part of your computer is in the tiniest
respect different from an original IBM PC, Microsloshed Walls will
pretend it doesn't exist and lock up when you try to install the
Complicated and cumbersome command-line functions have been
replaced by simple, intuitive mouse-driven commands without
confusing options or user-burdening functionality.
Microsloshed Walls version 3.0 is a major step forward--boldly
abandoning the restraints of compatibility with either DOS or
Walls 2.9 applications while not making you waste your time
learning new features or capabilities.
Conventional DOS programs are limited to a mere 640K of memory;
Microsloshed Walls will use up every last byte of memory on your
computer and more!
Microsloshed Walls provides your programs with a uniform user
interface so simple and easy to use that all your applications
will look and act exactly the same. Whether you're using a
telecommunications package or a compiler, you'll be completely
unable to tell them apart!
Several of the functions of the Microsloshed applications you've
grown to love under DOS will still work some of the time under
Walls and a variety of Microsloshed products are very nearly
supported by Microsloshed Walls including Expell, QuirkC,
QuirkBASIC, QuirkPascal, and QuirkRATFOR.
The popular word processing program Microsloshed Wart has been
fully updated and modified just for Walls, making it totally
unlike Microsloshed Wart while still retaining the same name.
Microsloshed Walls includes its own special version of QEMMMM
(Quirky Extraneous Massive Memory Multi-Mangler) converting your
system's extraneous memory into impacted memory which can be more
efficiently wasted by Walls.
We guarantee that, when you install Microsloshed Walls on your
computer, you'll kiss your old DOS prompt goodbye. In fact, after
just one session with Microsloshed Walls, you may never use any of
your old programs again.
Software that makes your computer obsolete.
The Unnatural Enquirer, © 1991 by Trygve Lode (firstname.lastname@example.org)