Headache #14:	Tax audit
Headache #17:	Landlord threatening eviction
Headache #24:	Divorce and custody battle with spouse who has just joined religious cult and/or survivalist group
Headache #25:	Door-to-Door salesmen
Headache #31:	Lover leaves you for twit, jerk, or major home appliance
Headache #33:	Someone else's car in your parking space
Headache #43:	Resource not available. Hanging up.

Real headaches don't each quiche--and they don't go away when faced with a couple of measly little 200 milligram aspirins. When you've got a headache that's bigger than a pair of tiny pills, Bufferin just isn't going to do the job. Extra-Strength Excedrin won't be enough. Your headache will just laugh at a couple of Tylenol. And don't even talk about Midol.

There's just one headache pill strong enough to take care of a real headache:

New, Improved, Ultra-Strength Anvil!

Not 350 milligrams, not 500 milligrams, not even 1000 milligrams, new, improved Ultra-Strength Anvil is a full 260 Kilograms--strong enough to mash even the toughest headache into an unrecognizable pulp!

• Fast acting. Ultra-Strength Anvil usually eliminates your headache in just a few seconds.
  
  
• Effective pain relief. Most headaches never come back after just a single application of Ultra-Strength Anvil.
  
  
• Gentle on the stomach. Ultra-Strength Anvil will no more upset your stomach than five minutes of a typical slasher film.
  
  
• Safe. Ultra-Strength Anvil comes in a child-proof bottle.

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