Do you suffer from N.S.S.? Experts estimate that as much as a third of the world's computer programming productivity may be lost due to Nocturnal Sleepiness Syndrome and that this debilitating disorder may already be spreading to other fields and professions! While it is not certain when NSS first appeared in the human population or even when it began to approach its present epidemic status, a recent re-examination of university records and student lab books indicate that Nocturnal Sleepiness Syndrome was already widespread in the grad student population by the mid-seventies.

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Don't assume Nocturnal Sleepiness Syndrome could never happen to you or to someone you supervise - it could!

Watch for these ten warning signs; if someone exhibits six or more of them at least occasionally, that person may have Nocturnal Sleepiness Syndrome.

1. Inability to concentrate on coding, debugging, or homework assignments for more than twenty or thirty hours at a time.
2. Difficulty meeting management's goals and deadlines.
3. Panic or anxiety when break room is out of coffee and/or Mountain Dew.
4. Deterioration in personal appearance and grooming including but not limited to:
   1. Wrinkled or rumpled clothing and hair.
   2. Sweaty areas under arms.
   3. (in males) Darkening and roughening of the cheeks and chin.
   4. Loosening of tie.
5. Bloodshot eyes, dilated pupils, excessive or inappropriate laughter.
6. Awkwardness of gait or deterioration of posture.
7. Changes in personality or speech patterns, fatigue, or lack of vitality.
8. Lack of movement and/or lines of code written after midnight.
9. Slurred speech or unintelligible vocalizations after 3:00 AM.
10. The appearance of a central raised area on the suspected NSS sufferer's bed.

The Unnatural Enquirer, © 2001 by Trygve Lode (trygve@trygve.com)

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