Boot-To-The-Head Productions Presents:
Andrew "Dice" Webber's musical sensation:
You'll feel like bursting too when Pippi bursts into song:
And no one will be able to forget this heartwarming ditty by Max deNife, the ruthless attorney who befriends Pippi:
- Oh, the shark bites -- with her fees, dear --
- if she sues you -- wrong or right --
- In a court you'll -- pay her dearly --
- as her price goes -- out of sight --
- When a lawyer files -- a civil suit, dear --
- She's the one who'll -- get the bucks --
- If you think you'll -- keep the money --
- You'll find out that -- you're out of luck --
- In the courtroom -- Monday morning --
- You're being sued for -- mental strife --
- In walks counsel -- for the plaintiff --
- Is that counsel -- MAX deNIFE? --
- Accidents and -- mental cruelty --
- Negligence or -- any tort --
- Oh, the Jury sits -- on the right, dear --
- Now that Max-ie's -- back in court....
And Pippi's sensitive paean to the evening will keep coming back to your thoughts like a lunchtime burrito that was just a little "off":
- I feel sticky! Oh, so sticky!
I feel sweaty and sticky and--say!
I think I'll pick up any box
- that's in front of me today!
- I'm unloading--I'm unloading!
I'm upholding each box prow to keel!
I'm so sweaty --
- that my deodorant is starting to congeal!
- See that tremendous box in that pile there?
How heavy could that box be?
Such a heavy box--such a massive shape--
- Such a heavy thing--but not too heavy for me!
- I feel like lifting! I feel like shifting --
- each crate from this ship to the dock!
- But in half a minute --
- it'll be exactly five o'clock...!
[five o'clock whistle blows; Pippi puts down box and leaves]
You'll laugh; you'll cry; you'll love "Pippi Longshoreman" more than your
Rush out now and see "Pippi Longshoreman" over and over again!
"Like the rest of the audience, I was spellbound by 'Pippi Longshoreman.' By the end of the show, there wasn't a dry seat in the house. On a scale of one to ten, I rate it a 9.681483125--go see it before the upholstery on the theater seats is completely ruined."
-- Richard M. Nixon