Dear Doctor Rude,

What is Love?

Signed,
  - In a Funk & Wagnalls

Dear Funked-Up,

LOVE

that deep and intense feeling that is, to the greatest extent possible, utterly and completely unlike the feeling you experience when picking up a tub of cottage cheese by the lid and realizing that it is way, way, way past the expiration date just as the bottom of the tub leaps free and deposits its multicolored contents on your left foot.

Hope this helps,
  - Doctor Rude

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