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solo sex

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[Cut to commercial. Shown is a lean and muscular man wearing only the skimpiest of boxer-style trunks sitting upon a curious-looking bench with a bewildering variety of attachments. Cue high-tech, inspiring, yet soothing music. Start voice-over: ]

row row row your lats

Solosex. The most complete home workout system money can buy. The Solosex machine and the Solosex workout program is the most effective means of toning, training, and conditioning your body. The Solosex machine is guaranteed to satisfy all your exercise needs.

[ Background music swells as our model begins performing some sort of exercise. We have some difficulty telling exactly what exercise he is performing, largely due to the position of the camera and the strategically placed black rectangles that cover what would otherwise be the most interesting portions of the movement. Segue to female model, already covered with sweat performing a different exercise that involves hanging upside-down from a removable crossbeam placed on the main resistance bar. Voice-over continues: ]

Solosex fits in almost any corner of your home, always there and ready when you want a workout. Sleek and attractive enough to fit in with any decor, compact enough never to be in the way, yet large and sturdy enough to give you a total workout.

[ Background music increases tempo as we switch back to our well-chiseled male model, his biceps and pectorals now beaded with sweat as he performs a different and faster exercise with the Solosex machine. ]

The Solosex Workout System consists of sixty-nine different exercises, all designed to stimulate your body to its fullest potential. A complete workout can take as little as five minutes a day, every other month, or as long as six-and-a-half hours, seven days per week. The Solosex exercise plan is so effective, you should begin to see noticable results in the very first minute you use it.

[ Fade to split screen: both models are reaching their peaks of muscular exertion, the exercises becoming quicker and more vigorous as their movements synchonize with the music and with each other, sweat dripping off their minimally clad bodies to be caught by the strategically placed towels on the benches. Music increases speed to an impossible tempo, cymbals crash, models pant, the narrator's voice cracks just a bit: ]

Solosex. The only perfect workout system, now available for your home. Call today for a full-color, detailed brochure.

[ Our models rest, breathing heavilly, sitting on their respective benches with matching towels draped around their necks. Fade to Solosex phone number and to silence just as one of our models begins snoring. ]


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