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Tired of your boring, dead-end job?
Why not enter the fast-growing field of
PIZZA REPAIR!
Thousands of pizzas are prepared incorrectly every single day--and experts predict that four hundred million pizzas will be baked with the wrong ingredients by the end of the decade. And, if you are one of the select few who know the secrets of pizza repair, that means BIG BUCKS for you!
You'll learn how to
- Remove unwanted pepperonies!
- Pick off mushrooms!
- Add anchovies!
- Repaint pepperonies to make them look like Canadian bacon!
- Take those anchovies off again!
- Filter sausage bits out of the cheese!
- Staple pinapple directly to the crust so it looks just like it was baked on!
- Take off the rest of the mushrooms!
And, you'll learn how to remove the following bits of foreign material that were accidentally baked into the pizza:
Hair Hairnets Dentures Jewelry Rodents Hash Browns Spiders Ice Cream (a toughie) Spatulas Nail Clippings Coast Guards Pom-Poms
Best of all, thanks to the Columbia School of Pizza Repair, you can learn all about this rapidly-growing field in your own home! We'll mail you a different pizza each week and, if you're not entirely satisfied, you can fix it yourself! So, send us $575.35 (plus $6.50 postage and handling) and two boxtops from any Gener Mills cereal and enter the lucrative world of pizza repair today!
| Remember: |
that's $575.35 (plus $6.50 postage and handling) and two
boxtops from any Gener Mills cereal to:
The Columbia School of Pizza Repair |
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