Trygve.Com > MFW > Humor > How many bodybuilders can dance on the head of a pin?
exercise humor parody Subject: How many bodybuilders can dance on the head of a pin?
From: mike.knapik (
Date: 1998.04.14

[ mike knapik ]

OR: another week in the life of MFW.

Bill Roberts: It depends on how many bodybuilder receptors the pin has, and whether the pin's propensity to downregulate is equal to the androgens' affinity dripping from the bodybuilder's sweat. We've discussed this to death previously - look it up in DejaNews: keywords: pin, dance, bodybuilder.

Steve Kidwell: I have a pin from the last Republican Convention! Besides, once bodybuilders stop using, they can't dance anymore. Only I can dance faster on more pins than anyone here because I am mentally as sharp as a tack (an ersatz pin!)

John Wash: I told some guy named Brent to stick a pin into his Unix box to reboot it. HaHa. Otherwise, unless the pin was included in a box with the word 'Organon' on it, I would not dance on it at all. BTW, I travel with my little doggy called 'Sust' so I can have a pindance anytime I want, thank you very much.

Sandeep Dee: I only dance with goats on ketogenic diets; pins are what doctors need to hold together all the 365 pound lineman I've crippled.

Deepsquatter: I suggest pin squatting with max weight to get your form down. Once you've squatted on a pin, you'll be dancing in perfect form all through the gym. And if your wife doesn't like pin dancing, just take the pin outta one of your grenades you ordered from SOF and lay it on the coffee table. (PS: I saw Krista dancing naked on a pin once.)

Pat Arnold: Put the pin up your ass. I discovered pin dancing and I'm partnering with EAS to ensure everyone gets stuck equally.

Bruce Kneller: Pat, why don't you just admit that you are trying to illegally dance with Connelly on the head of his pin. Furthermore, I've learned from my DEA buddies that you are a self-serving sellout that has to import your pins instead of making them yourself.

PusBag: (see Bruce Kneller)

Robert Ames: It has been shown in numerous studies that pins alter the CNS pathways affecting motor function and energy flow. If you want to improve your dancing, you must put the pin in just the right place or else your eyes will turn yellow and bulge out permanently.

References: K.T. Pinhead. 'Innervating dance reflexes with straight pins', Journal of Pinology, March 1997. I. M. Sharp. ' Dancing, bodybuilders and pins', Clinical Applications of Movement on Small Platforms. May 1996.

Mike Lane: All you pussys that don't like my pin, let's see you post a picture of yourself dancing on your pin. Pinnup or shutup.

Josh: see Mike Lane.

CLC: mutha fukin pins are called syringes in D/FW. Of course this is just what I've heard, being all-natural myself. I'm down with pin dancing - that is all I do dance, shit, workout, dance, dance, fuck, dance.

Krista: Pins are short enough so I don't need a stool to get on them. But once there, I would only dance with bodybuilders who have at least a masters in women's studies.

Matt Staples: Pin Dancing? What did I miss?

Adam Fahy: 13.7 if they periodize HIT style.

Troll: Perhaps I am an idiot, but in the book I am reading called PIN DANCING: THE NATURAL MOOD ENHANCER, it says that 45 bodybuilders can dance on a pin. But it doesn't define bodybuilder the same way as the rest of you do. So what should I believe?

Jorge: Man you niggas cngt get mee ts dnchae fuck anywhere in newYork. If I catch you down here Im gonna beet the livin shitta outta you you fukers so between it you fuck cant pin dance. Jorge Alexander Pavon. PinDancing competitor since 1997.

Nenutt: I use pins to hold my blouse together as I tend to bust out all over while dancing.

Myomer: I suggest 750 bodybuilders should be able to dance on the pin, based on an article I read in Men's Fitness 6 years ago. Well, I actually read just the title, but I think the article would've said 750. Geez, now I'm not so sure.

TreeByTheRiver: I was just remembering a post-Hellenic verse about creatine and pin dancing. The barbarians were at the gates, ready to treat the Socialites as pincushions, when their stallions of Welsh descent placed first in the race to end all races. Of course, post-modernist Pin-daric thought accompanied dictums analogous to those by afarensis africanus on the high plains of India, so you see the situation rapidly became a dance of words.

Karl: Pin Dancing is for pussies. But when I do pin dance, I use a special belt my mom made for me. Its pink spandex and fits in all the right places.

ROBO: Pin dancing is foo-foo. I don't do it and you shouldn't have to either. Just concentrate on the major multi-joint dances, without the pin.

Will Brink: I've recently written a book and two feature articles on just this subject.

Bil: You have to account for the centripetal and centrifugal forces perpindicular to the vortex created by the pin-bodybuilder system. So the answer is (G*F/ma * sin p - cosine t)/t^^2.

DDuchaine: I have decided to put out a newsletter called Dirty PinDancing. Subscriptions for the year (5 monthly issues) will be $195.00.

Julien Gautheir: Seeing as how I'm the most reasonable person here on MFW, I'll pretty much, but not completely agree with most everything anybody has to say about pin dancing. The number should be between 0 and infinity.

Tim Fogerty: I like to play pin the tale on the donkey with my dance partner, Enrico. He's 11, butt we're in Argentina so its ok becasue its only a pinprick.

Lysis: Pinn is not derived from Greek nor Latin; therefore the word does not exist. And even if it did I would spell it wrong on purpose.

R Schuh: I'm on pins and needles waiting for my new kidneys. And when I get back to MFW, I'm gonna make all you cum-dumpsters wish you had pins up your ass.

Lee G: I have just acquired a new 12 gauge pin. But I don't know how to dance on it, or whether pins are dangerous. I heard they are, and I also heard that you have to be careful about what kinds of dances you do. I think my pin will give me 25# of muscle in 1 week. Is this true? I am willing to learn.

Dr. Bigtime: I've posted a recent picture of me pindancing; what do you think? Should I have had my ass handed to me?

Greg Whitman: I have used Photoshop to construct an image of a pin with Kidwell's head and Sandeep's goat's body and Krista's (well - I'll leave that to your imagination). I think they are all pin-pals. If we put it on the mfw site, everyone can dance around it.

Brent Goldberg: I use a pin John Wash sent to me to reboot my customer's Unix boxes every Sunday morning. They are so thrilled, they dance around all day and think I am GodAdministrator; haha - I sure have them fooled.

Brian A. Bucher: This document is a Pointer to various FAQs and resources available on the internet which deal with dancing on pins and related areas.

robinc: i can't dance. and we never had pins in the amazon jungle. but as you can see from my pic, i don't have ta dance to please bitch. u go pin dancin girl

Dan Finn: cron/pin grep\\ ftp &% 'dancing' % bin/crx/babblefish#%$#

A. Baye: There is no way any bodybuilder can dance on any pin with success unless he does it superslow and to failure.

Mike Mentzer: The body has a limited reserve of adaptive and recovery energy; so logic (or the voice of Ayn in my head) dictates that only the minimal number of bodybuilders should dance on the pin. And they should dance only once, but dance until they fall off the pin. Then they should rest for 4 months before dancing on the same pin again.

Mike Knapik: PinDancing can have different meanings, depending on context. As the above shows, the pinultimate meaning may be hidden. But if you dig deeply, although you may hit a nerve, you will discover that you cannot pin your career on a dance of words. Most of the deepest meanings would bowl your pins over and they would thence stay pinned to the ground. And where would that get you? Most of you would try and pin the blame on your dance partner. So, in closing, I pin my hopes on Elliot's notion that, Heisenberg's Uncertainty Pinciple notwithstanding, all bodybuilders can dance on the head of a pin simultaneously as long as they are dancing a different tune (waving at a different frequency for all you quantum pinheads out there).

Now, if there exists a function such that....

[ tree by the river ] (shamelessly hanging on to Mike's coattails)

SomeNewAccount@WebTV.con: Don't you lame-brained bodybuilders know that pins will destroy your liver, make your kidneys swell up to the size of sport-utility vehicles, give you inoperable nose cancer, and cause your gonads to be ejected from your body like moist cannonballs? Anyone with self-respect would stay natural and never get near a pin; that's why I only use Twinlabs "needle fuel" (now with the special round, hole-free head) and TackBol (containing only natural herbal long thin metal rods that are pointed on one end). Sure, these might cost a hundred times as much, but I know I'll be benching at least 135 pounds twenty years from now while you cheating pin-users will be dead by three this afternoon! GET PINS FAST!!!!!! SEND FIVE PINS TO EACH OF THE ADDRESSES BELOW, ADD YOUR NAME TO THE BOTTOM, AND POST AS MANY COPIES OF THIS MESSAGE TO AS MANY NEWSGROUPS AS YOU CAN UNTIL YOUR ACCOUNT GETS PULLED!!!!!!! TRY IT!!!!! I GOT ONE BILLION PINS IN THE FIRST MINUTE AND NOW I DRIVE A BRAND NEW (connection terminated by root) whats a pin???? email please, cause i dont know how to read messages!!!!! no answers from gay guy's, either!!!!! don't you know that pins are unstable and will explode if you dance on them while using caffeine or have citrus fruits on your shoes? the only safe and effective pin to dance on is ScamTech's new patented "Stabilized Liquid Colloidal Pins"; email me and I'll sell you some for only ten or twenty times what it's worth and tell you how to get rich by posting copies of this message all over the net and conning members of your own family into buying useless products! I've been training most of a week now, but my biceps still aren't bigger than Arnold's. I'm only doing sixty-one sets of flying barbell curls, following a pro's workout I read in Muscled and Witless. Am I not doing enough sets? Should I be following the Weider BuyMyStuffInsteadOfTrainingRight Principle? A guy at my gym sold me some pins that he said would make me huge--they cost a thousand dollars each, but they must be really good pins, because they're not just skinny metal things like regular pins, but bigger thicker pins that come in lots of colors and are labeled "Crayola" which he said was the name of a Russian pin manufacturing company. How should I cycle my pins? He sold me some squeeze tubes of some special steroid skin cream too; should I stack the pins with the skin ointment, or will that make me get too big and veiny and gross and stuff? (ACE-certified future olympics trainer): girls should never dance on one pin, or they'll get all big and bulky. The way to burn fat and tone is to dance on at least twenty pins and never dance too hard or use pins that might be too heavy. If you ever want to know anything about training, email me any time and I'll send you a list of my consulting fees. I'm a personal trainer, so I know what I'm talking about, unlike all those other people who answered this question.

(name withheld by request): nobody dances on pins, you idiot, so when I said that you should avoid dancing on pins because the marshmallows will get in your shoes, I was talking about how to cook muffins in a crock-pot. Sheesh! No wonder everybody on the net says that you guys are the stupidest and rudest people in the entire world!